Body Image

Last night I went on a walk to the park, laid on basketball court and sat there for an hour listening to music and thinking about life. I didn't make any life changing decisions but I want to be on my own and figure out who I am without the worlds influence. I've realized that I only hate my body because that is what is expected of me. I have stretch marks – those are ugly. My teeth aren't perfectly white – I better fix those. My chest is flat – let me feel self conscious. And it isn't necessarily from the media directly, it’s my friends who hear it from the media and even their friends and moms who say they aren't pretty or skinny enough or even don’t have the right shape of curves. It’s because they don’t have a perfect view of their body when I see them as beautiful that makes me worry about myself. I see them look in the mirrors and point out their small stomach and call it huge or call their normal sized thighs as ‘thunder thighs’ that makes me worry about my own huge stomach or thunder thighs. What do they think of me when they see me? What do boys think of me when I stand next to my size 2, 4 and 6 friends? Would I really care about my own look if I didn't hear from them complain about their own. I just want to get over it because I used to not care about my weight, now I think about it constantly. 

Growing Up Is Hard

          Do you remember growing up and just getting to that point where you feel like you have to make all life's decisions right now but you can barely decide what cereal to eat? That is the current situation I'm in. It's my final semester in high school and that fact itself is scaring me. Graduation is the moment I have been looking forward to since I can remember. Ordering my cap and gown (which is WAY too expensive), I am trying to find a photographer for senior pictures, I am deciding what college to go to (if I even want to go to college), and way too many other grown up decisions.
          School is preparation for your career that you are going to spend a couple decades at and then hopefully retire and live somewhere nice. I wish they taught you about all those things to get from step to step. Why can't we learn about government forms that we can't escape like taxes, mortgages, loans, 401K's, w4's, and a thousand other things. I want school to teach me that. It's like it would make life more enjoyable but it would definitely take away a majority of the stress.
          Life is all about making decisions. They may be small like what cereal to have for breakfast or what you are going to major in. Either way, they have some impact on your life that you just can't avoid. So for now I am trying my best to live in the moment but also be aware of the choices I'm making. It's a hard process but it is definitely important to Keep Calm & Carry On (yes, I still like that quote).

"May every sunrise hold more promise and every sunset hold more peace." -Anonymous 

I found this quote and I absolutely love it. I've tried to have more peace in my life this new year and it has been really hard. I've realized that the older you get, the more stress and worries you have. I've also learned that it isn't always a negative thing. Learn to take that stress and find a way to get rid of it and use that energy for something positive. This has been my unofficial resolution this year and it has been difficult. I am a person who worries for no reason all the time and I tend to over analyze simple things. I realize when I wake up think of the positive things I could do that day and the many things I can achieve, the whole day looks a lot brighter. I also try to be at peace with what I have done that day and what I have planned for the future. This hasn't been an easy thing to day but it has really helped me become happier and more relaxed. So remember to think of the promise the new day brings and be at peace at the closing of that day.

Thankful

I am so thankful for all that I have. I have family and friends that I love and I know they are always here for me. I have a roof over my head, a nice bed, and food on my table. I am able to drive down the paved nice roads feeling safe. I have a wonderful school, with teachers who care. I have thousands of books that I can read. I have a church down the street and I am able to share my beliefs with those around me. I have windows that I can look out and see the sun shining, hears the birds chirping and see the beautiful colors of the trees and flowers. I am so very thankful for everything that I have! My goal is to be thankful all 12 months instead of just 1. I know that I am so blessed even though I don't acknowledge it all the time and I take what I have for granted. Let's all try to be a little more thankful. Happy thanksgiving!!!!

Priorities

It started out fine. Just a small bump we all needed to get over. We knew what we had to do to be stronger than it and get past it. We were ready but we all said stupid things. We got over those things but you didn't. We all should of been able to get past that but I guess you weren't ready to forgive and forget. You held a grudge. We warned you, you were going to get hurt like we already had. You made the choice to pick him over us. You didn't know what we did and you showed that you didn't care. Then you made your decision. You chose something that we knew would hurt you. And then most importantly, you betrayed us and showed us your true colors. If you knew what we did, everything would of changed. You still don't know what we did which is a shame. I think you deserve to know. I know this wasn't all your fault but when we apologized you didn't want our fogiveness. But I'm ready to forgive you. I'm not going to let it bug me anymore and waste my energy. You decided what's important to you. I'm sorry that what is important in our lives doesn't match up with eachother. You have caused more heartache than you could know but I forgive you. I apologize for myself and you fogive me when your ready but know that I won't be holding my breath.
I miss you. Just know that.

What Life Is Really About

Life is about learning to dance in the rain. It's about making lemonade from lemons. It's about hugging those closest to us but also reaching out to those who need a hug.
Life isn't always easy and there Is no pamphlet that tells you what to do. We all learn from each other and teach each other. I believe that the most important life lessons are those that we didn't plan on learning.
Most importantly to me, life is about learning to love and give.

New Love

I have this new love.
It's name is Pinterest.
It's full of excitement.
It has all the pictures anyone could want.
It's simply amazing.
Who could live without it?
I know I am going to be addicted.
It truly is simply AMAZING!
Wouldn't you agree?

P.S. I found this picture/challenge on it and I really need to do it soon.


30 Day Photograph Challenge
{Day 1: Self Portrait}
{Day 2: What you wore today}
{Day 3: Clouds}
{Day 4: Something green}
{Day 5: From a high angle}
{Day 6: From a low angle}
{Day 7: Fruit}
{Day 8: A bad habit}
{Day 9: Someone you love}
{Day 10: Childhood Memory}
{Day 11: Something Blue}
{Day 12: Sunset}
{Day 13: Yourself with 13 things}
{Day 14: Eyes}
{Day 15: Silhouette}
{Day 16: Long Exposure}
{Day 17: Technology}
{Day 18: Your Shoes}
{Day 19: Something Orange}
{Day 20: Bokeh}
{Day 21: Faceless Self-Portrait}
{Day 22: Hands}
{Day 23: Sunflare}
{Day 24: Animal}
{Day 25: Something Pink}
{Day 26: Close-up}
{Day 27: From a Distance}
{Day 28: Flowers}
{Day 29: Black & White}
{Day 30: Self-Portrait}